


A slip of the tongue

by takenbythewater (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mutual Pining, Paperwork, Pet Names, implied prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 22:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/takenbythewater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Erwin finally says something he means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A slip of the tongue

A thick heat had settled throughout the base, even with the windows opened there was no relief from the late summer haze.It must’ve been stifiling in the barracks, but fortunately for them, most of the cadets had retreated to the basement. Erwin was inclined to let them stay there, Eren could benefit from having his friends around.

 Erwin could benefit from having a friend around, but then again, humanity could benefit from not having titans around. One seldom gets what they need, let alone what they want.The parchment was so damp that the ink smeared whenever the tip of his pen touched it. To the family of someone, we regret to inform you that your child, your brother, your sister has been killed in service to the Survey Corps.

     He’d written out and signed so many of these that the words came almost automatically. Once, he might’ve known the faces and voices of all the dead. Once. But that was done with now.

        Despite having hung his jacket from the back of his chair the heat had clung to him, leaving a pounding in his skull and a weight around his eyes. If he’d slept the night before, maybe he wouldn’t feel as though he’d been taken apart and sewn up again.

        It’s tedious work, heavy somehow, but Erwin Smith is responsible if nothing else. He sent them to their deaths. The least he could do was assure their families that it hadn’t been in vain. Whether this was true or not.

        It would be easier for those left behind to imagine the ones they loved dying bravely, blades drawn and hands steady.  The truth of it was that most of them had spent their last moments terrified and in pain. What peace would that bring to their families? If this makes him more of a liar, more of a monster, then so be it.

            The glass perched on the corner of his desk is nearly empty when he reaches for it, but the burn of the whiskey through his throat is strong enough.

         Not nearly as strong as the first glass, nor the second, but that was to be expected. One builds a tolerance for that sort of thing eventually.

        Dying is a messy affair, and he suspects he’ll be confirming that for himself any time now. Maybe this expedition or the next. Maybe he’ll become the hanged man, all his little strings come back to wrap around his neck.

His mouth is dry and the numbness has long since worn off, the pounding in his head returning with a vengeance It’s been quite a while since he’s gotten drunk, and he doesn’t plan to change that. Given that his office seems to have tilted a little to one side, it may be too late for him to claim sobriety. He’ll just shut his eyes for a moment, just a moment. He lays his head in his hands and breathes in deeply. There is a knock at the door. A pause. Another. This is quite a record for him. Usually he just-

“You ask everyone to knock, and then you don’t answer when they do,” The door clicks shut and the tell-tale sound of Levi’s long and effortless stride remains the only noise save for the mixed sound of their breathing. Usually, he kicks the door open. “ That’s fucking rude, Erwin.”

As if he had ever believed that request applied to him. Levi doesn’t wait for a response before he slides his hand across the desk, thumb brushing against Erwin’s forefinger as he slips the pen from his grip. He gives a thoughtful hum before lifting the small stack of paperwork from between Erwin’s elbows.

“And hello to you as well, Levi.” The corporal answers with a little huff of air that might have counted as laughter.

“I’ll finish these.”

“You know they need my signature.” He shouldn’t have said anything. Levi stared down at him, an occurrence that was not as rare was one might think, and scoffed.

Erwin watched as Levi deftly copied his signature above the Scouting Legion’s seal.        

There’s a pleasant buzz in his veins, warmth flooding his chest as he offers a half-smile.

        “Where would I be without you?”

        “ Hell probably, which is incidentally what you look like right now.” Ah, so he was in a complimentary mood this evening.

Levi’s posture was rigid, even as he leaned a hip against the desk, eyes glancing up only briefly from the unfinished letters to Erwin’s slumped form.

“ Go the fuck to bed, I told you I’d finish up here.”

        Erwin, however, seemed to be distracted. He had not taken his eyes off of the other man. He blinked and shook his head, steadying himself on his chair and slowly rising from behind his desk.

“Thank you, darling.”

The sound of shuffling papers stopped. It took less than a second for Erwin to realize what he’d said and his stomach dropped. If it had been a simple drunken mistake, just completely unprofessional, he might have had some hope of escape. If only he hadn’t meant it. If Levi was not so precious to him.

Levi tensed, the stack of papers creasing a bit in his hands. It seemed they suddenly required absolute concentration from him. He was moving towards the door too quickly for Erwin, mind blurred with drink, to stop him.

Levi turned on his heel, looking back with his usual calm.

“I need to stamp these,” he said by way of explanation, “I have a stamp. I took it off your desk.”  Of course, a stamp. Erwin reached into the drawer of his desk, fumbling around before withdrawing the very thing and holding it up for inspection.

“I have a second one.”

Levi spared a glance at the object before stepping over the threshold and closing the door behind him.

Darling.

They only called you that when they thought they could get away without paying upfront.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it through all that, thank you! This is unbeta'd and likely still full of mistakes.


End file.
